Thursday, October 01, 2015


*dramatic inhale/ exhale* Ahhh, Spring! My favourite time of year! Now, I'm sure you've all heard me say that during the year, but this is my actual favourite time of year. Often you'll wake up to warm sunlight, nice breezes, then the day will conclude with grey clouds or perhaps a storm. It might rain during the night, and everything will be green the next day. Not only that, but flowers start growing again, and everything that disappeared during the Winter is finally back again to thrive. Believe it or not, these photos were taken in a swamp. One that is usually crawling with mosquitos, but today Mother Nature cut me some slack cause she knew that I wanted to take some photos and they all seemed to disappear to the other swamp nearby. Chur to you, Mother Nature. 

I decided to come home for the rest of the week and visit my Mum and sisters because I think I was getting a bit too caught up in the city life and I needed a breather. It's easy to lose yourself in the constant social happenings, the hustle and bustle, and the stress of being independent. For the most part, I'm ridiculously happy, more content with life than I ever have been, but lately I found myself in the middle of things that I didn't want to be in the middle of, I was running around like a headless chook trying to get jobs done and became a total shrew in the process. When you start crying because your clothes got wet on the washing line cause it rained, that's when you know it's time to come home and talk to your Mum. I've been home for 24 hours and I already feel like myself again - mainly because the food here is so damn good and I went to bed at 9:30pm last night. Shut eye does wonders every time. The only downside to being home, aside from my little sister loading my bedroom up with minion toys that talk during the night and scare the shit out of me, is that everyone here watches The Bachelorette. I could write a whole paper on my distaste for that show. And tinder. And all those things, but I won't because I would be better off spending my time reading Anne of Green Gables and appreciating what true romance is, as opposed to this codswallop that has my Mum and sisters  (and the rest of the population it seems) hooked. Pish tosh. 

What has been happening lately in your lives? 2015 seems to be the year of "first times" for me. A few weeks ago I shot an air rifle (I'm REALLY hoping that's the technical name for it or my guy friends will launch into a painful lecture about what I really shot with) and rode a motorcycle all within hours of each other. In all honestly, I'm 100% surprised I didn't severely injure myself while riding that bike because not only do I have a long running history of accidents occurring on things with two-wheels, but I also don't know what gears are nor what they do. By the end of the day, I'm pretty sure the engine on the bike I rode was completely flooded. But hey, I shredded that dirt road and I had a bloody good time. 
Anyway, I'm going to go read The Return of the King and have my fourth cup of rooibos for the day. I'll probably have an early night again too just because I can. Ciao for now! 

Monday, September 28, 2015

Hi, hello, bonjour, hola! And all of those varying linguistic greetings! It's been well over a month since the last update here and a lot has happened in the space of approx. thirty days. Not really sure where to start, except perhaps an overdue thank you for the response to the previous post in which I did open up quite a bit. I was really glad I published that in the end because I think it is important to emphasise how much an internet persona can differ from what is actually presented in real life. That being said, it's still me! :) Just one side! As for a life update, in a nutshell, things have been busy. I'm pretty keen to finish my first year of university (my stress levels reached an all time high last week and I turned into a ferocious, wild animal... a Savage). I also managed to get myself a job, FINALLY! It's awesome being financially stable again, there's something incredibly liberating about being able to pay bills with money that you've acquired at your own accord, as opposed to what the government gives you. I'm also going to Sydney in a few weeks for a ball, and to visit my brother and some friends. It'll be my first time outside of Queensland so I'm only like, a tiny bit excited.  

Anyway, today I decided to share with ya'll some NEXT LEV amazing tunes that have been keeping my musically inclined self amused lately. You'll notice there's quite a few songs from The Rubens' new album, Hoops, which has been on repeat lately. I love everything about their new music, it's very fresh and unique; two favourites include Hoops (obviously!) and Hallelujah. This mix of music is very eclectic and I guarantee that you'll like at least three songs. Actually, make that five, because it's just a great, random playlist with no genre specifications. Threw in a bit of Elvis too, just for good measure. 


Friday, August 21, 2015

THE TRUTH // Growing up with "Avenue Maria"

Not many of you know this, but I actually started blogging when I was 12 years old. Avenue Maria was originally “In Review”… a spinoff from one of the segments in Total Girl (a monthly preteen magazine in Australia). I had just finished my last year of primary school, and at the time, was idolising Teen Vogue cover girls and the works of street style photographer’s like the Sartorialist. Something I distinctly remember saying during the last few months of year 7 after we had just covered the birds and the bees,  was “Why is identity such a big topic in the puberty realm?! I know myself so well, I’m never going to struggle with this!”. I was right… up until about year 10, when hormones started kicking in to full gear, my acne was out of control and I had braces. Oh! And I also tweezed my poor little eyebrows within an inch of their lives and my hair hung in pigtails like two, lifeless rats on my shoulders. No joke. I was a bloody catch and you bet your bottom dollar all the boys that missed out on the opportunity to take me to the school discos are still crying. Guaranteed. 

Year 11 was more of an improvement, I was slowly coming out of my shell after having worked in retail for nearly a year and making friends seemed to come a little easier, despite cystic acne being at its worst. When it came to writing for Avenue Maria, I’ve always been very, very selective of what is published. I am a girl that thrives off of beauty, positivity and art. I avoided talking about things that upset me on my blog and managed to sugar coat things until everything seemed to be covered in this thick, beautiful, shiny gloss that gave a lot of people that I’m close with this impression I was living a perfect life. When I did try to “get real” in blog posts, I was often proud of them. For example, I’ll never been ashamed or regretful for posting my acne journey up. That was something I felt that I needed to do… I had an audience, I had a problem, maybe people within my audience also had this problem… why not speak out, offer some advice, help? Aside from that though, everything on Avenue Maria has been carefully worded, edited and structured to give the impression of a life that has little to no struggle or tears etc, which to me is so not me.

When I moved to Brisbane in February of this year, a lot of people that I met gushed about how much they loved my blog and how they appreciated what I did. It was such a humbling experience to be affirmed by strangers who knew my name, but I barely knew theirs. It was also really upsetting in a way, because I had created this image, this intimidating persona of a girl who had her shit together and was living a dream life, when she wasn’t! I found myself saying over and over, "No, trust me! I'm not always like that! I'm actually really down to earth... I'm not perfect at all!!". Don’t get me wrong, my life is a BEAUTIFUL and amazing thing, but it’s also a LIFE. My heart beats like everyone else’s, I struggle financially, I will internally squeal “F*ck!” if I bang my toe on the kitchen bench, I’ve never had a boyfriend, when I hail the bus driver and he doesn't stop I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart, I struggle to concentrate in my lectures at uni, I’m insecure about things, I haven’t got a job at the moment, etc.

I am not a perfect girl, and I just wanted to write this post to let people know that. Avenue Maria is something I’ve always been very proud of, because it’s an expression of my creative taste; it’s the closest I can come to creating a dream life. It’s an element of my huge personality. Lately though, I've been worried that's it's not giving people an accurate representation of me as a person. In real life, I am a dry-humoured, bubbly, (sometimes) well-dressed girl who loves The Seekers and Glen Campbell and eats frozen berries straight out of the packet. Just like everyone else, I have a personality, a big mental web filled with experiences, struggles, joyous days, mystery, daydreaming, political and religious views and sarcasm. I’m not always happy, I’m not always sad. I feel all the feels and that is perfectly normal. I wake up every morning and forget how miraculous it is that I’ve woken up, on another beautiful day in Australia, with my heart beating and the ability to walk, run, smile, cry, see, laugh, speak and listen. I am a normal girl who is learning how to live a life independently. My goal at the end of each day is to close my eyes and fall asleep knowing I’ve given my 100% best for the day, I’ve been kind and I’ve been grateful. I don’t think I’ve ever really struggled more with my personal identity than I have recently. I’m 18, yet I feel a lot older and wiser. Then, other times I feel a lot younger, like it’s a mistake that I’ve suddenly become a legal adult who is allowed to drive a car, order a drink at a club and vote in elections. It’s a scary thing sharing this on the Internet because people can either accept it, or they won’t and you have to be satisfied with the result. I'm just trying to better myself and live a life I want to look back on proudly. Saying "yes" is happening more than saying "no". Making an effort to talk to people and make friends even when I'm scared has become part of my everyday routine. Buying the sparkly shoes, because life is short and even though you probably could've spent that money on food, it was totally worth it. 

At the end of the day, “Avenue Maria” and I are still the same girl. There’s just more depth to the latter. She’s real, open, funny and not always well dressed and 100% equipped with a positive outlook (most of the time though, she is). It’s not that this blog is a lie; it’s just not entirely truthful about my personality and what lies beneath the flowery skirts, lipstick and “Anne of Green Gables” obsession in photos. Besides, now that I've grown up, I couldn't imagine having any other life than the one I'm living. As hard as it can be sometimes, it's MINE, it belongs to ME, and it's so exciting because there's still so much to happen!!!! How can you not be excited about the future?! It's so mysterious and exciting and unknown! Embrace it! 

The internet is super great at tricking you into believing something that isn't always completely true. Remember this post next time you're reading someone's blog and you're thinking, "Man, I wish I was them, their life is perfect". It's not, trust me! Have a great weekend. x